The Diary of A Scientologist
Добавлено: 09 окт 2017, 16:08
INTRODUCTION:
When I was young and searching for better control of my own life, I read a book by L. Ron Hubbard who was the founder of the Church of Scientology. I began to study his philosophy at the church in New York in 1976. My involvement in the church resulted in the 2005 closing of a mission the church operated in Elizabeth, New Jersey. https://www.facebook.com/ltoomajan?fref=ufi
DIARY OF A SCIENTOLOGIST - PART 1 (1976-1986)
My name is Lawrence Toomajan. I was born in Elizabeth, New Jersey in 1959, the youngest in a family of four children. My father's poor family planning led to chronic financial struggles as my mother was an unemployed housewife. I went to seven different schools because my family moved six times before I finished high school. I was blamed by my parents, my brother and my two sisters for our family's problems. Consequently, I was neglected, abused, mistreated, beaten and I became unhappy growing up this way. I knew something needed to change.
In 1976, at 16, I read Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard and was convinced my search for an answer to our problems was over after reading this book. I wrote to the Church of Scientology of New York and was written back, telephoned and invited to the church. So, I went there secretly one morning.
In Scientology auditing is the name of the type of counseling the church delivers and an auditor is the person that is trained there to deliver the auditing. In Scientology a person's souls or spirit is called a Thetan. Auditing is done to rehabilitate a thetan's spiritual awareness and abilities.
I spoke to a girl at the church named Debbie Kagan Ward Murray who was a registrar (or person that sells Scientology services to the public). She worked for the church weekdays and introduced me to other church staff and public there. I was given some written tests, a personality profile quiz, other things to read, something to eat and an interview on an e-meter. The end result of the day was an estimate for 285 hours of auditing for about $30,000.00. The staff said this auditing will erase the source of my uncertainties in life forever and give me new abilities. I took this estimate home to my parents and they told me they could not afford it.
A week later Debbie came to our house and put $10 of her money in an account for me at the church for a course called the Communications Course, which is an introductory course that teaches better communication skills. She told me to come in and start the course as soon as I could so, I went back with $10 and repaid her the next week and started the course. After 3 days, I was taken off the course by a church ethics officer named Sally Allerdice and told I could not be there without a parent or guardian.
In Scientology Sea Org members are people who live and work in the church full time 7 days a week, 365 days a year in exchange for their room and board. They sign lifetime employment contracts.
After Sally sent me home, my parents and I were asked into the church to a meeting by two Sea Org (or SO) members. At the meeting we all agreed I should wait until I was 18 to do the course and then come back and see Sally again before I started.
In 1977, I finished school and turned 18 so, I called the church and made an appointment with Sally. I got there mid-morning on a Thursday and was told she's not there by two people named Cathy MacMurray Ondreicka and Susan Christie Davis (a registrar and a treasurer in that order), that worked for the church evenings and weekends.
I want to point out that staff who work weekdays are called Day (or D) staff. Staff who work evenings and weekends are called Foundation (or FDN) staff. D and FDN staff are two fiscally and politically separate church groups that only share the same building.
Susan told me I didn't need to see Sally to go back to course. She took the illegally acquired Day account file under my name from when I was a minor and re-filed it in to the FDN account files so that she and Cathy would get credit for getting a new person in, signed up and on course, that someone else had already done. Cathy took me to the course room to the course and this is how I got in to Scientology.
Cathy's husband Tom Ondreicka was a NY FDN staff member and so was Susan's husband Frank Davis. Frank committed suicide in 2013. Tom left the church and his ex-wife Cathy joined the Sea Org. But, while she was in the Sea Org she was sent to an internal church prison for Sea Org members called the "Hole" in Hemet, California as punishment by Scientology leader David Miscavige.
I liked the course and received the "Upstat Student of the Week" award. Toward the end of the course the course supervisor began pressuring me to study faster to graduate sooner. I didn't like that because I was learning something new that I had not encountered before. At the same time, church staff began pressuring me to join staff at the church and also to join the Sea Org. I finished the course and accepted a job at the NY FDN as an Expediter (someone that helps anywhere needed until permanently placed). I did additional basic staff training, read more Scientology books and was set-up for Drug Rundown auditing. I was paid about $4.85 a week for over 40 hours a week. My staff supervisor was a man named Bob Cucarullo that used an oversized discarded ripped US Confederate flag as curtains for the window in our office.
In summer 2001, I saw Bob in New York at 72nd St. & Broadway. We stopped and talked and he said he left Scientology in 1981.
Many church staff worked under the table outside the church to supplement their incomes. The Executive Director (or ED) which is the church boss at the NY FDN was a man named Raymond Baiardi that had an off the books pillow making company in a loft on West 17th St. He rented the loft and other Scientologists worked there. His partner was a man named Marcel Femine who was a NY FDN student with his wife Lucille Femine. I was offered a job there. I found a legal part-time job at a Scientologist's furniture manufacturing plant called Loftcraft on W. 20th St. instead through the help of a fellow staff member at the church. I worked in the office there on weekdays and at the church evenings and weekends. Loftcraft was owned by Randolph Parsons (a NY FDN student). His wife Isabelle Szuldiner Falcaro Parsons (a NY FDN auditor) and 2 other Scientologists (George Goodrich and his wife Dina) helped manage Loftcraft.
Per L. Ron Hubbard written policy, anyone with a terminal illness may not be audited, trained or on staff anywhere in Scientology. Randolph had leukemia and died from it while still an active church member. He was allowed on church services in spite of what L. Ron Hubbard said because he had a large sum of money in the bank to possibly donate to the church.
My Loftcraft supervisor was Marcia Valente Cruz (a NY FDN student). She told me about employees at Loftcraft that were Scientologists and ones that were not. She asked me to use discretion when talking to the ones that were not. This is a strange practice at the church as well. More than once, people came in the church unhappy about the services they got there or asking for refunds of their money. These people were all treated rudely by the church staff and even ignored and made to stand around like fools unattended. I asked innocently once about a guy that came in that was complaining and I was told to "ignore him, he is a fucking asshole".
The City of New York cited Loftcraft for 65 building safety code violations. Just before city inspectors returned to check on the progress being made correcting certain of the violations, Isabelle asked me to go around the entire building (several floors) and remove any item in sight that is related to Scientology in any way. A large heavy wall mounted "Org Board" that showed the names of all the staff and their jobs at Loftcraft fell on me while being removed from a wall in the main office area. A large screw protruding from it gashed my arm. Not one person at Loftcraft even offered me as much as a Band-Aid for the inch-long deep bleeding gash. Marcia told me "Get your fucking TR's in!"
In Scientology TR's stands for Training Routines, which are drills a person does on the Communications Course (the first course I did in Scientology) that teaches communication skills. So, by her saying this, she meant I didn't know how to communicate to her properly about my injury.
I used clean toilet paper from the bathroom held in place with scotch tape to dress the wound and then cared for it further when I got home. I still have a scar on my arm from that injury that can be seen today. I should have billed any treatment for this injury to Loftcraft under the Worker's Compensation law, but I didn't. Scientologists are not supposed to file legal papers like this against each other. Everything is expected to be resloved within the church.
Loftcraft eventually became bankrupt, but just before that happened Isabelle fired me for being PTS and said I should go to the church and get some help with my problems.
PTS in Scientology stands for Potential Trouble Source and refers to someone who is connected to an SP. An SP in Scientology stands for Suppressive Person and refers to someone Scientologists view as antagonistic to their religious beliefs. Loftcraft then went bankrupt and the Parson's and the Goodrich's both moved to Los Angeles and opened a diner called New York George's on Fountain Ave. across the street from the main Scientology complex.
After my separation from Loftcraft, Bob Cucarullo asked me to see a NY FDN Ethics Officer (or EO) named Nancy Levin (that also worked at Loftcraft). Nancy told me I was not going to work out as staff for a group of reasons she recited. The Guardian Office (or GO) was the church's former public relations defense office and Nancy said I had to petition to them in writing for permission to continue in Scientology. I was taken off my post and course at the church by her to petition.
At this writiing Nancy, works with her husband Neil Levin (a former NY FDN course supervisor) at Scientology's International Headquarters in Hemet, California called INT Base which is composed of all Sea Org members.
It was a degrading experience to petition because I did not believe I was a bad person as she said and I didn't feel like one either. To avoid losing any progress I already made in the church, I wrote a petition to the GO stating in some way that I was not worthy of being a Scientologist and asked for permission to be one. I sent the petition to the NY Assistant Guardian (or AG) a guy named Antros Savas and then waited for his response.
Raymond Baiardi (NY FDN ED or guy in-charge) sent me to a Scientology mission downtown on 6th Avenue in Greenwich Village to work while my petition was under review. The mission was run by Mr. & Mrs. Howard and Mary Rower. I wrote letters, handed out literature, worked with students, typed and ran errands.
During a visit to the church to see about my petition, Debbie Kagan Ward Murray (who now worked for the GO with her husband Pat Ward) asked me to work for her in the GO part-time. I agreed and had to sign a $10,000.00 bond that if I disclosed my activities in the GO to anyone I must pay the GO $10,000.00.
In the GO I listened with headphones attached to a tape recorder to recordings the church had made secretly of people church staff and others had conversations with on the phone. I typed the conversations into written transcripts. A government official that refused to grant the church a permit required to open a new Narconon is an example of the kind of target or victim tape recorded. The GO staff used the documents against people to bully, intimidate, harass and frighten them into giving the church what it wanted. The victims upon realizing they were recorded without their knowledge would become confused regarding what else the church might know about them and possibly give in to the church's demands.
The FBI raided churches of Scientology in Los Angeles and Washington DC on the morning of July 8, 1977 and confiscated books, records and materials. Church staff were arrested and later tried and sent to prison including church Founder L. Ron Hubbard's wife Mary Sue Hubbard. The raids uncovered evidence documenting crimes the GO perpetrated world wide. One victim a woman named Paulette Cooper, was arrested by the FBI and charged with making bomb threats against the church. After her arrest, the FBI found proof among the church's files it seized during the raids, that showed the church wrote and mailed fake bomb threats to itself on stationary stolen from Paulette's apartment that had her fingerprints on it to frame her for the crime. This was in retaliation for a news article she wrote about the church. Paulette sued the church for $25 million dollars with the FBI's evidence and the church settled out of court with her in 1985.
Looking back on one afternoon in 1978 in the GO, the reception lobby was full of girls seated or standing. Another girl came out of a side office door. She showed us her shoes and said "And, they're in style too!" The others girls said "Hi Paulette!", "Hey Paulette!", "Oh, Paulette!" waving and laughing. I thought it was odd so many girls were called Paulette but I just went back to my desk to work without saying anything about it.
I had never read any of Paulette's work or even heard of her until 2002.
After reading Paulette's story, I realized that the girl who came out of the side office door in the GO was Paulette Cooper's body double the church employed to run around New York impersonating her. This was so that people could report to Paulette and others that they had seen Paulette somewhere doing something and she would think she was going crazy knowing it could not have been her. Looking at pictures of Paulette available today from that period in time and comparing them to the appearance of the body double I met, it is evident to me that physically the church selected an accurate body double. I did not have a clue this was going on at the time or that anything like it would even be going on there.
In summer 1978, the NY GO organized a protest of the FBI that consisted of busloads of Scientologists (over 200), traveling from NY to Washington DC to picket on the sidewalks outside of the FBI building. The trip was paid for by Howard and Mary Rower at whose mission on 6th Ave. I worked part time. I was free to travel so I was made to go. The protest was televised on national news.
Meanwhile elsewhere in town, the Rower's sponsored a GO fund raiser at their Hudson Street loft. A Scientologist named Arte Maren that was just released from jail following his arrest during the FBI raids was a guest speaker at the event.
If I wasn't busy at the mission or the GO, I was allowed by Neil Levin and Mike Spallino (the course supervisors) to word clear students in the Academy (the church's course rooms). I was never trained as a word clearer and the materials I word cleared people on I had either never heard of before and/or they were levels above my own training and auditing levels. People came in the church and bought training and auditing at full prices. The ones that bought training were word cleared by people like me as the church had a shortage of word clearers to help get people through their training and on to their next paid levels. A person such as this could then be used to "professionally" audit other people that came in the church and bought auditing at full price because the church had a shortage of auditors too.
I worked part time this way at the mission, the GO and the church while waiting to hear back on my petition.
I never heard back on my petition to the GO and Bob Cucarullo said it had to be re-submitted. I became suspicious so, I petitioned L. Ron Hubbard (founder of the church) instead. I did not get a response from him either even after one month, so I wrote him to inquire about it and asked him to please send his response to my home address instead of the church. I heard back from him within 10 days. He stated, he had already approved my petition and sent it back to me weeks before at the church and was concerned that I never received it. He sent me a copy of it and said to make the most of the good news and wished me luck.
I later learned that my original petition to the GO that I never heard back on and the letter L. Ron Hubbard said he sent me that I never received were both stolen by the NY FDN ED Raymond Baiardi (the guy that employed church staff at his off the books pillow making business on West 17th St.).
I saw Sally Allerdice (my original EO) many times during these months and she never once brought up my being there without having seen her first as she had ordered me to do before I came back to course.
In 1978, I landed a great job in New York with a fashion designer that was not a Scientologist and I stopped working at the church, the mission and the GO. One of the mission staff named David Simon started screaming at me about how sick and tired he was of me when he found out I was done working there.
ASHO stands for the American Saint Hill Organization which is a more advanced type of Scientology church staffed by Sea Org members. As opposed to the church in New York which is staffed by public people that sign 2 to 5 year contracts.
I always wanted to be a more ethical person. It is what drew me to Scientology. I bought a course called the Hubbard Personal Ethics and Integrity Course from ASHO FDN in Los Angeles. In the process of making arrangements to get a job and a place to stay while I trained at ASHO evenings and weekends, I was convinced by church staff to join the SO in LA. I left my job in New York and went to LA to be in SO.
I worked in a church management office called a FOLO (which stands for Flag Operations Liaison Office). Everyone in the Sea Org worked, ate, got paid, trained and got audited at the church. I slept in a room with other male Sea Org members in a rundown building called the Hollywood Inn. I did not have a car so it was necessary to make my own arrangements to get to and from the church for everything. I walked a couple of times. I don't recall that there was a shuttle van or bus. The food was rationed, unhealthy and some of it was made from bags filled with white powder that was mixed with water. So, I ate my meals at places outside the church with my own money. I was given manual labor to do almost all the time. Tearing up rugs at the church's Celebrity Center church in LA, cleaning floors, cleaning kitchens, etc. I got 1 day off every 13 days based on my level of production. I got no training and a just bit of auditing. For the weeks I was in Sea Org I was not paid anything ever. My boss Grace Brown, was paid $1.50 a week.
Here is an example of the kind of work that needed to be done. I was asked to mop a 1,400 square foot linoleum floor area at the church. The church didn't have detergent or bleach and was not supplying money for any. The mop given to me was the dirtiest mop imaginable. I used it to mop the floor using just plain water. Staff were walking around on the floor the whole time it was being cleaned. The floor did not come clean. I asked Grace Brown for a better solution and she said "Try using warmer water" and told me her senior was complaining to her about me leaving the floor like that.
I could not persuade Grace to let me do the Hubbard Personal Ethics and Integrity course I paid for at ASHO FDN next door, while she was trying to figure out where I would be permanently posted. She told me to go to ASHO FDN and use the money in my account there to buy an e-meter and books instead to prepare me for Flag. Flag is the largest Church of Scientology in the world, located in Clearwater, Florida. It is staffed by all Sea Org members. She said I was going to be sent there to be trained as an auditor and that this is where I would be posted. I felt like I was making a mistake listening to her because I was not qualified per church policy to buy, use or even own an e-meter yet. I went next door and was able to buy one from the church's bookstore without any questions asked.
I decided the Sea Org was just not for me. I also needed a break and not just every 13 days on good behavior. I went roller skating instead of going to a staff meeting one night. The next day I was dismissed from the Sea Org on sight when I came back and handed a "3-feet-long" qualifications program of auditing and training to do to get back in the Sea Org. I donated the books I bought there to the church because they were too heavy to carry in my luggage. I brought the e-meter home with me back to New Jersey.
Flag is the name of a Sea Org staffed Church of Scientology located in Clearwater, Florida. It is the only church in the world that offers all Dianetics and Scientology services in one place.
Once home, I went to see the Flag Service Consultant (or FSC) at the church in New York to discuss doing my SO qualifications program at Flag. When I got to the FSC office there was a Sea Org woman sitting in there. I introduced myself, sat down and originated to her that I wanted to go to Flag from now on to do all of my church services. Although she did communicate with me minimally, she refused to tell me her name. She would not open an account for me, even though the church accepts donations of any size from anyone. And she would not give me any additional information about other Flag services to take home to read to learn more. She suddenly said to me point blank truly annoyed "Look. I'm really busy and I don't have time for this, OK?" She didn't ask me to come back and see her at a later time when she might not be so busy. The church was deserted that night and not one person was waiting to see her after me. I left her office at the time the church was closing up for the night. She just left me hanging to draw my own conclusion of what took place.
Her name was Kitti Georgius Kahn. I did not learn her name from her as I said. There was an event at the church in New York about 6 months later that she was the emcee of and she introduced herself to the audience. I was in the audience and this is how I learned her name after speaking to her 6 months earlier.
In 1979, when I was 19, I got a letter from a NY FDN EO named Alma Jamieson, to come to the church and discuss with her my departure from the church. I wound up writing up Overts and Withholds (or O/W's) which refers to harmful acts that one has done in life that may be unreported to anyone as of yet. I then turned these write-ups in to the EO to review. I was seen by her and other EO's in rotation over a period of weeks, one replacing the other. I came in for a few hours a day each weekend for a few months during the spring and summer and wrote up all the O/W's I had and turned them in to the EO's. It did not take me months to complete because I had thousands of hidden crimes to report. It took me as long as it did because I had never done a confession in this manner and was unsure of myself before gaining this experience in it. When I was done writing up O/W's I attested at the examiner that I had finished. I felt like a pretty clean and ethical guy afterwards.
Many Scientologists like to entertain the idea that they are joining the Sea Org one day for the duration of their careers as Scientologists but they never do join. In the middle of when I was doing my O/W write-ups in June of 1979, L. Ron Hubbard, released a new church policy. It stated that anyone who has ever taken LSD or Angel Dust may no longer join the Sea Org. Those people may only get auditing, training or be on staff at a church or mission if they qualify. When I was in high school I used LSD about 5 times. So, for me this new policy really worked. I was already sick and tired of being asked to join the Sea Org or be on staff when I had already answered 15 times that I didn't want to, because I did not think it was for me. I was happy my only real true option now in Scientology was to remain public.
An EO named Anna Balash then took over. She stated there was a special ethics program I had to do with her because her review of my O/W write-ups had uncovered new out-qualifications I had for being in Scientology. These are the new out-qualifications she says she found:
LEAVING SCIENTOLOGY: I was temporary staff waiting for placement. I never was officially on contract anywhere. So, this is a lie.
SUPPRESSIVE GROUP MEMBERSHIP: I wrote a letter to the Church of Satan of San Francisco, California once because I had a question about their religion. They wrote me back with an answer and put me on their mailing list. Anna said exchanging letters with them constitutes membership in the group. Another lie.
ATTEMPTED SUICIDE: I smoked marijuana once and took a gun my father owned to a park and was playing with it and it went off. I told Anna "I'm lucky I didn't kill myself". She said "That constitutes attempted suicide and drug usage". L. Ron Hubbard wrote that anyone that has ever attempted suicide may not be trained, audited or on staff at any church ever. There is no petition or workaround to this. Another lie.
PROMISCUITY: I had sex with many different partners when I was younger. Anna said this kind of sexual conduct is not allowed in Scientology.
CANCELLED PETITION: An approved petition from L. Ron Hubbard was sent by him, by mail, to me, at home and not shared by me with anyone at the church. How would she know about this unless she saw the letter L. Ron Hubbard said he sent me at the church that I never received? The one that Raymond Baiardi stole. Anna said the petition from L Ron Hubbard is cancelled. Another lie.
I was in awe. Why did she think I would believe all of these lies for instead of the truth and be willing to pay her for it? According to Anna, I had to be approved by the Guardian Office not L. Ron Hubbard in order to be allowed to continue in Scientology and this costs money.
This is the special ethics program she created for me:
A complete life history write-up (not just O/W's, but every person and group I have ever been associated with in any way such as the names of schools I went to and teachers, friends that I had etc. etc.)
A notarized affidavit acknowledging the fact of each out-qualification
A notarized affidavit assigning the church zero liability for this program
A GO World Wide Form 5 Green Form Security Check (in blocks of 12½ hours at full current donation rates)
A new petition to the GO
When done, everything would be sent to the GO as a package for approval that would take as long as it takes and cost as much as it costs to get approved.
Rather than argue with her, my only desire was to leave in a civil manner. We went to the registrar to start payment for the security check part of the program. The registrar was Raymond Baiardi (the former church ED). He acted excited I was finally going to be getting some services and wanted just $2,400. I gave him $22 and got a receipt from him for it and did not go back and give him any more money again ever.
In 1982, Howard Rower was declared a Suppressive Person and expelled from Scientology. The Rower mission was closed for good. I stayed good friends and in communication with him until he died in 2000. His wife Mary died in 2011.
In 1983 the GO was disbanded and replaced by a new group called OSA which stands for the Office of Special Affairs.
In 1985 I lived in New York and up until that time there were periods when I received 20 or more letters a week from Scientology churches everywhere asking me for money for something (books, training, auditing, taped lectures, e-meters etc.) A NY Day Treasurer named Joan Woods called me to say I had a Freeloader's Debt of $1,100 she was required to collect from me. A Freeloader's Debt is a bill that is issued to a Scientologist for all auditing and training services received for free or at a discount while on staff if their staff contract is ever broken. I had to remind her somehow that I was never even on a staff contract, so what was the big idea? My buddy who was with me when I received the call and was familiar them got on the phone and told her if she calls again the police will be called. We never heard back from her or any type of collection agency.
When I was young and searching for better control of my own life, I read a book by L. Ron Hubbard who was the founder of the Church of Scientology. I began to study his philosophy at the church in New York in 1976. My involvement in the church resulted in the 2005 closing of a mission the church operated in Elizabeth, New Jersey. https://www.facebook.com/ltoomajan?fref=ufi
DIARY OF A SCIENTOLOGIST - PART 1 (1976-1986)
My name is Lawrence Toomajan. I was born in Elizabeth, New Jersey in 1959, the youngest in a family of four children. My father's poor family planning led to chronic financial struggles as my mother was an unemployed housewife. I went to seven different schools because my family moved six times before I finished high school. I was blamed by my parents, my brother and my two sisters for our family's problems. Consequently, I was neglected, abused, mistreated, beaten and I became unhappy growing up this way. I knew something needed to change.
In 1976, at 16, I read Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard and was convinced my search for an answer to our problems was over after reading this book. I wrote to the Church of Scientology of New York and was written back, telephoned and invited to the church. So, I went there secretly one morning.
In Scientology auditing is the name of the type of counseling the church delivers and an auditor is the person that is trained there to deliver the auditing. In Scientology a person's souls or spirit is called a Thetan. Auditing is done to rehabilitate a thetan's spiritual awareness and abilities.
I spoke to a girl at the church named Debbie Kagan Ward Murray who was a registrar (or person that sells Scientology services to the public). She worked for the church weekdays and introduced me to other church staff and public there. I was given some written tests, a personality profile quiz, other things to read, something to eat and an interview on an e-meter. The end result of the day was an estimate for 285 hours of auditing for about $30,000.00. The staff said this auditing will erase the source of my uncertainties in life forever and give me new abilities. I took this estimate home to my parents and they told me they could not afford it.
A week later Debbie came to our house and put $10 of her money in an account for me at the church for a course called the Communications Course, which is an introductory course that teaches better communication skills. She told me to come in and start the course as soon as I could so, I went back with $10 and repaid her the next week and started the course. After 3 days, I was taken off the course by a church ethics officer named Sally Allerdice and told I could not be there without a parent or guardian.
In Scientology Sea Org members are people who live and work in the church full time 7 days a week, 365 days a year in exchange for their room and board. They sign lifetime employment contracts.
After Sally sent me home, my parents and I were asked into the church to a meeting by two Sea Org (or SO) members. At the meeting we all agreed I should wait until I was 18 to do the course and then come back and see Sally again before I started.
In 1977, I finished school and turned 18 so, I called the church and made an appointment with Sally. I got there mid-morning on a Thursday and was told she's not there by two people named Cathy MacMurray Ondreicka and Susan Christie Davis (a registrar and a treasurer in that order), that worked for the church evenings and weekends.
I want to point out that staff who work weekdays are called Day (or D) staff. Staff who work evenings and weekends are called Foundation (or FDN) staff. D and FDN staff are two fiscally and politically separate church groups that only share the same building.
Susan told me I didn't need to see Sally to go back to course. She took the illegally acquired Day account file under my name from when I was a minor and re-filed it in to the FDN account files so that she and Cathy would get credit for getting a new person in, signed up and on course, that someone else had already done. Cathy took me to the course room to the course and this is how I got in to Scientology.
Cathy's husband Tom Ondreicka was a NY FDN staff member and so was Susan's husband Frank Davis. Frank committed suicide in 2013. Tom left the church and his ex-wife Cathy joined the Sea Org. But, while she was in the Sea Org she was sent to an internal church prison for Sea Org members called the "Hole" in Hemet, California as punishment by Scientology leader David Miscavige.
I liked the course and received the "Upstat Student of the Week" award. Toward the end of the course the course supervisor began pressuring me to study faster to graduate sooner. I didn't like that because I was learning something new that I had not encountered before. At the same time, church staff began pressuring me to join staff at the church and also to join the Sea Org. I finished the course and accepted a job at the NY FDN as an Expediter (someone that helps anywhere needed until permanently placed). I did additional basic staff training, read more Scientology books and was set-up for Drug Rundown auditing. I was paid about $4.85 a week for over 40 hours a week. My staff supervisor was a man named Bob Cucarullo that used an oversized discarded ripped US Confederate flag as curtains for the window in our office.
In summer 2001, I saw Bob in New York at 72nd St. & Broadway. We stopped and talked and he said he left Scientology in 1981.
Many church staff worked under the table outside the church to supplement their incomes. The Executive Director (or ED) which is the church boss at the NY FDN was a man named Raymond Baiardi that had an off the books pillow making company in a loft on West 17th St. He rented the loft and other Scientologists worked there. His partner was a man named Marcel Femine who was a NY FDN student with his wife Lucille Femine. I was offered a job there. I found a legal part-time job at a Scientologist's furniture manufacturing plant called Loftcraft on W. 20th St. instead through the help of a fellow staff member at the church. I worked in the office there on weekdays and at the church evenings and weekends. Loftcraft was owned by Randolph Parsons (a NY FDN student). His wife Isabelle Szuldiner Falcaro Parsons (a NY FDN auditor) and 2 other Scientologists (George Goodrich and his wife Dina) helped manage Loftcraft.
Per L. Ron Hubbard written policy, anyone with a terminal illness may not be audited, trained or on staff anywhere in Scientology. Randolph had leukemia and died from it while still an active church member. He was allowed on church services in spite of what L. Ron Hubbard said because he had a large sum of money in the bank to possibly donate to the church.
My Loftcraft supervisor was Marcia Valente Cruz (a NY FDN student). She told me about employees at Loftcraft that were Scientologists and ones that were not. She asked me to use discretion when talking to the ones that were not. This is a strange practice at the church as well. More than once, people came in the church unhappy about the services they got there or asking for refunds of their money. These people were all treated rudely by the church staff and even ignored and made to stand around like fools unattended. I asked innocently once about a guy that came in that was complaining and I was told to "ignore him, he is a fucking asshole".
The City of New York cited Loftcraft for 65 building safety code violations. Just before city inspectors returned to check on the progress being made correcting certain of the violations, Isabelle asked me to go around the entire building (several floors) and remove any item in sight that is related to Scientology in any way. A large heavy wall mounted "Org Board" that showed the names of all the staff and their jobs at Loftcraft fell on me while being removed from a wall in the main office area. A large screw protruding from it gashed my arm. Not one person at Loftcraft even offered me as much as a Band-Aid for the inch-long deep bleeding gash. Marcia told me "Get your fucking TR's in!"
In Scientology TR's stands for Training Routines, which are drills a person does on the Communications Course (the first course I did in Scientology) that teaches communication skills. So, by her saying this, she meant I didn't know how to communicate to her properly about my injury.
I used clean toilet paper from the bathroom held in place with scotch tape to dress the wound and then cared for it further when I got home. I still have a scar on my arm from that injury that can be seen today. I should have billed any treatment for this injury to Loftcraft under the Worker's Compensation law, but I didn't. Scientologists are not supposed to file legal papers like this against each other. Everything is expected to be resloved within the church.
Loftcraft eventually became bankrupt, but just before that happened Isabelle fired me for being PTS and said I should go to the church and get some help with my problems.
PTS in Scientology stands for Potential Trouble Source and refers to someone who is connected to an SP. An SP in Scientology stands for Suppressive Person and refers to someone Scientologists view as antagonistic to their religious beliefs. Loftcraft then went bankrupt and the Parson's and the Goodrich's both moved to Los Angeles and opened a diner called New York George's on Fountain Ave. across the street from the main Scientology complex.
After my separation from Loftcraft, Bob Cucarullo asked me to see a NY FDN Ethics Officer (or EO) named Nancy Levin (that also worked at Loftcraft). Nancy told me I was not going to work out as staff for a group of reasons she recited. The Guardian Office (or GO) was the church's former public relations defense office and Nancy said I had to petition to them in writing for permission to continue in Scientology. I was taken off my post and course at the church by her to petition.
At this writiing Nancy, works with her husband Neil Levin (a former NY FDN course supervisor) at Scientology's International Headquarters in Hemet, California called INT Base which is composed of all Sea Org members.
It was a degrading experience to petition because I did not believe I was a bad person as she said and I didn't feel like one either. To avoid losing any progress I already made in the church, I wrote a petition to the GO stating in some way that I was not worthy of being a Scientologist and asked for permission to be one. I sent the petition to the NY Assistant Guardian (or AG) a guy named Antros Savas and then waited for his response.
Raymond Baiardi (NY FDN ED or guy in-charge) sent me to a Scientology mission downtown on 6th Avenue in Greenwich Village to work while my petition was under review. The mission was run by Mr. & Mrs. Howard and Mary Rower. I wrote letters, handed out literature, worked with students, typed and ran errands.
During a visit to the church to see about my petition, Debbie Kagan Ward Murray (who now worked for the GO with her husband Pat Ward) asked me to work for her in the GO part-time. I agreed and had to sign a $10,000.00 bond that if I disclosed my activities in the GO to anyone I must pay the GO $10,000.00.
In the GO I listened with headphones attached to a tape recorder to recordings the church had made secretly of people church staff and others had conversations with on the phone. I typed the conversations into written transcripts. A government official that refused to grant the church a permit required to open a new Narconon is an example of the kind of target or victim tape recorded. The GO staff used the documents against people to bully, intimidate, harass and frighten them into giving the church what it wanted. The victims upon realizing they were recorded without their knowledge would become confused regarding what else the church might know about them and possibly give in to the church's demands.
The FBI raided churches of Scientology in Los Angeles and Washington DC on the morning of July 8, 1977 and confiscated books, records and materials. Church staff were arrested and later tried and sent to prison including church Founder L. Ron Hubbard's wife Mary Sue Hubbard. The raids uncovered evidence documenting crimes the GO perpetrated world wide. One victim a woman named Paulette Cooper, was arrested by the FBI and charged with making bomb threats against the church. After her arrest, the FBI found proof among the church's files it seized during the raids, that showed the church wrote and mailed fake bomb threats to itself on stationary stolen from Paulette's apartment that had her fingerprints on it to frame her for the crime. This was in retaliation for a news article she wrote about the church. Paulette sued the church for $25 million dollars with the FBI's evidence and the church settled out of court with her in 1985.
Looking back on one afternoon in 1978 in the GO, the reception lobby was full of girls seated or standing. Another girl came out of a side office door. She showed us her shoes and said "And, they're in style too!" The others girls said "Hi Paulette!", "Hey Paulette!", "Oh, Paulette!" waving and laughing. I thought it was odd so many girls were called Paulette but I just went back to my desk to work without saying anything about it.
I had never read any of Paulette's work or even heard of her until 2002.
After reading Paulette's story, I realized that the girl who came out of the side office door in the GO was Paulette Cooper's body double the church employed to run around New York impersonating her. This was so that people could report to Paulette and others that they had seen Paulette somewhere doing something and she would think she was going crazy knowing it could not have been her. Looking at pictures of Paulette available today from that period in time and comparing them to the appearance of the body double I met, it is evident to me that physically the church selected an accurate body double. I did not have a clue this was going on at the time or that anything like it would even be going on there.
In summer 1978, the NY GO organized a protest of the FBI that consisted of busloads of Scientologists (over 200), traveling from NY to Washington DC to picket on the sidewalks outside of the FBI building. The trip was paid for by Howard and Mary Rower at whose mission on 6th Ave. I worked part time. I was free to travel so I was made to go. The protest was televised on national news.
Meanwhile elsewhere in town, the Rower's sponsored a GO fund raiser at their Hudson Street loft. A Scientologist named Arte Maren that was just released from jail following his arrest during the FBI raids was a guest speaker at the event.
If I wasn't busy at the mission or the GO, I was allowed by Neil Levin and Mike Spallino (the course supervisors) to word clear students in the Academy (the church's course rooms). I was never trained as a word clearer and the materials I word cleared people on I had either never heard of before and/or they were levels above my own training and auditing levels. People came in the church and bought training and auditing at full prices. The ones that bought training were word cleared by people like me as the church had a shortage of word clearers to help get people through their training and on to their next paid levels. A person such as this could then be used to "professionally" audit other people that came in the church and bought auditing at full price because the church had a shortage of auditors too.
I worked part time this way at the mission, the GO and the church while waiting to hear back on my petition.
I never heard back on my petition to the GO and Bob Cucarullo said it had to be re-submitted. I became suspicious so, I petitioned L. Ron Hubbard (founder of the church) instead. I did not get a response from him either even after one month, so I wrote him to inquire about it and asked him to please send his response to my home address instead of the church. I heard back from him within 10 days. He stated, he had already approved my petition and sent it back to me weeks before at the church and was concerned that I never received it. He sent me a copy of it and said to make the most of the good news and wished me luck.
I later learned that my original petition to the GO that I never heard back on and the letter L. Ron Hubbard said he sent me that I never received were both stolen by the NY FDN ED Raymond Baiardi (the guy that employed church staff at his off the books pillow making business on West 17th St.).
I saw Sally Allerdice (my original EO) many times during these months and she never once brought up my being there without having seen her first as she had ordered me to do before I came back to course.
In 1978, I landed a great job in New York with a fashion designer that was not a Scientologist and I stopped working at the church, the mission and the GO. One of the mission staff named David Simon started screaming at me about how sick and tired he was of me when he found out I was done working there.
ASHO stands for the American Saint Hill Organization which is a more advanced type of Scientology church staffed by Sea Org members. As opposed to the church in New York which is staffed by public people that sign 2 to 5 year contracts.
I always wanted to be a more ethical person. It is what drew me to Scientology. I bought a course called the Hubbard Personal Ethics and Integrity Course from ASHO FDN in Los Angeles. In the process of making arrangements to get a job and a place to stay while I trained at ASHO evenings and weekends, I was convinced by church staff to join the SO in LA. I left my job in New York and went to LA to be in SO.
I worked in a church management office called a FOLO (which stands for Flag Operations Liaison Office). Everyone in the Sea Org worked, ate, got paid, trained and got audited at the church. I slept in a room with other male Sea Org members in a rundown building called the Hollywood Inn. I did not have a car so it was necessary to make my own arrangements to get to and from the church for everything. I walked a couple of times. I don't recall that there was a shuttle van or bus. The food was rationed, unhealthy and some of it was made from bags filled with white powder that was mixed with water. So, I ate my meals at places outside the church with my own money. I was given manual labor to do almost all the time. Tearing up rugs at the church's Celebrity Center church in LA, cleaning floors, cleaning kitchens, etc. I got 1 day off every 13 days based on my level of production. I got no training and a just bit of auditing. For the weeks I was in Sea Org I was not paid anything ever. My boss Grace Brown, was paid $1.50 a week.
Here is an example of the kind of work that needed to be done. I was asked to mop a 1,400 square foot linoleum floor area at the church. The church didn't have detergent or bleach and was not supplying money for any. The mop given to me was the dirtiest mop imaginable. I used it to mop the floor using just plain water. Staff were walking around on the floor the whole time it was being cleaned. The floor did not come clean. I asked Grace Brown for a better solution and she said "Try using warmer water" and told me her senior was complaining to her about me leaving the floor like that.
I could not persuade Grace to let me do the Hubbard Personal Ethics and Integrity course I paid for at ASHO FDN next door, while she was trying to figure out where I would be permanently posted. She told me to go to ASHO FDN and use the money in my account there to buy an e-meter and books instead to prepare me for Flag. Flag is the largest Church of Scientology in the world, located in Clearwater, Florida. It is staffed by all Sea Org members. She said I was going to be sent there to be trained as an auditor and that this is where I would be posted. I felt like I was making a mistake listening to her because I was not qualified per church policy to buy, use or even own an e-meter yet. I went next door and was able to buy one from the church's bookstore without any questions asked.
I decided the Sea Org was just not for me. I also needed a break and not just every 13 days on good behavior. I went roller skating instead of going to a staff meeting one night. The next day I was dismissed from the Sea Org on sight when I came back and handed a "3-feet-long" qualifications program of auditing and training to do to get back in the Sea Org. I donated the books I bought there to the church because they were too heavy to carry in my luggage. I brought the e-meter home with me back to New Jersey.
Flag is the name of a Sea Org staffed Church of Scientology located in Clearwater, Florida. It is the only church in the world that offers all Dianetics and Scientology services in one place.
Once home, I went to see the Flag Service Consultant (or FSC) at the church in New York to discuss doing my SO qualifications program at Flag. When I got to the FSC office there was a Sea Org woman sitting in there. I introduced myself, sat down and originated to her that I wanted to go to Flag from now on to do all of my church services. Although she did communicate with me minimally, she refused to tell me her name. She would not open an account for me, even though the church accepts donations of any size from anyone. And she would not give me any additional information about other Flag services to take home to read to learn more. She suddenly said to me point blank truly annoyed "Look. I'm really busy and I don't have time for this, OK?" She didn't ask me to come back and see her at a later time when she might not be so busy. The church was deserted that night and not one person was waiting to see her after me. I left her office at the time the church was closing up for the night. She just left me hanging to draw my own conclusion of what took place.
Her name was Kitti Georgius Kahn. I did not learn her name from her as I said. There was an event at the church in New York about 6 months later that she was the emcee of and she introduced herself to the audience. I was in the audience and this is how I learned her name after speaking to her 6 months earlier.
In 1979, when I was 19, I got a letter from a NY FDN EO named Alma Jamieson, to come to the church and discuss with her my departure from the church. I wound up writing up Overts and Withholds (or O/W's) which refers to harmful acts that one has done in life that may be unreported to anyone as of yet. I then turned these write-ups in to the EO to review. I was seen by her and other EO's in rotation over a period of weeks, one replacing the other. I came in for a few hours a day each weekend for a few months during the spring and summer and wrote up all the O/W's I had and turned them in to the EO's. It did not take me months to complete because I had thousands of hidden crimes to report. It took me as long as it did because I had never done a confession in this manner and was unsure of myself before gaining this experience in it. When I was done writing up O/W's I attested at the examiner that I had finished. I felt like a pretty clean and ethical guy afterwards.
Many Scientologists like to entertain the idea that they are joining the Sea Org one day for the duration of their careers as Scientologists but they never do join. In the middle of when I was doing my O/W write-ups in June of 1979, L. Ron Hubbard, released a new church policy. It stated that anyone who has ever taken LSD or Angel Dust may no longer join the Sea Org. Those people may only get auditing, training or be on staff at a church or mission if they qualify. When I was in high school I used LSD about 5 times. So, for me this new policy really worked. I was already sick and tired of being asked to join the Sea Org or be on staff when I had already answered 15 times that I didn't want to, because I did not think it was for me. I was happy my only real true option now in Scientology was to remain public.
An EO named Anna Balash then took over. She stated there was a special ethics program I had to do with her because her review of my O/W write-ups had uncovered new out-qualifications I had for being in Scientology. These are the new out-qualifications she says she found:
LEAVING SCIENTOLOGY: I was temporary staff waiting for placement. I never was officially on contract anywhere. So, this is a lie.
SUPPRESSIVE GROUP MEMBERSHIP: I wrote a letter to the Church of Satan of San Francisco, California once because I had a question about their religion. They wrote me back with an answer and put me on their mailing list. Anna said exchanging letters with them constitutes membership in the group. Another lie.
ATTEMPTED SUICIDE: I smoked marijuana once and took a gun my father owned to a park and was playing with it and it went off. I told Anna "I'm lucky I didn't kill myself". She said "That constitutes attempted suicide and drug usage". L. Ron Hubbard wrote that anyone that has ever attempted suicide may not be trained, audited or on staff at any church ever. There is no petition or workaround to this. Another lie.
PROMISCUITY: I had sex with many different partners when I was younger. Anna said this kind of sexual conduct is not allowed in Scientology.
CANCELLED PETITION: An approved petition from L. Ron Hubbard was sent by him, by mail, to me, at home and not shared by me with anyone at the church. How would she know about this unless she saw the letter L. Ron Hubbard said he sent me at the church that I never received? The one that Raymond Baiardi stole. Anna said the petition from L Ron Hubbard is cancelled. Another lie.
I was in awe. Why did she think I would believe all of these lies for instead of the truth and be willing to pay her for it? According to Anna, I had to be approved by the Guardian Office not L. Ron Hubbard in order to be allowed to continue in Scientology and this costs money.
This is the special ethics program she created for me:
A complete life history write-up (not just O/W's, but every person and group I have ever been associated with in any way such as the names of schools I went to and teachers, friends that I had etc. etc.)
A notarized affidavit acknowledging the fact of each out-qualification
A notarized affidavit assigning the church zero liability for this program
A GO World Wide Form 5 Green Form Security Check (in blocks of 12½ hours at full current donation rates)
A new petition to the GO
When done, everything would be sent to the GO as a package for approval that would take as long as it takes and cost as much as it costs to get approved.
Rather than argue with her, my only desire was to leave in a civil manner. We went to the registrar to start payment for the security check part of the program. The registrar was Raymond Baiardi (the former church ED). He acted excited I was finally going to be getting some services and wanted just $2,400. I gave him $22 and got a receipt from him for it and did not go back and give him any more money again ever.
In 1982, Howard Rower was declared a Suppressive Person and expelled from Scientology. The Rower mission was closed for good. I stayed good friends and in communication with him until he died in 2000. His wife Mary died in 2011.
In 1983 the GO was disbanded and replaced by a new group called OSA which stands for the Office of Special Affairs.
In 1985 I lived in New York and up until that time there were periods when I received 20 or more letters a week from Scientology churches everywhere asking me for money for something (books, training, auditing, taped lectures, e-meters etc.) A NY Day Treasurer named Joan Woods called me to say I had a Freeloader's Debt of $1,100 she was required to collect from me. A Freeloader's Debt is a bill that is issued to a Scientologist for all auditing and training services received for free or at a discount while on staff if their staff contract is ever broken. I had to remind her somehow that I was never even on a staff contract, so what was the big idea? My buddy who was with me when I received the call and was familiar them got on the phone and told her if she calls again the police will be called. We never heard back from her or any type of collection agency.